Hope and Josiah Funny

Hope: I don't want to be a pilot when I grow up

Mom: Hmmm. Is it because you don't like to fly or you think it's too strenuous or too academic?

Hope: No, it's because I'd be away from my family too long.

Mom: That's very interesting. What if your husband is your co-pilot?

Hope: No, because then we couldn't take care of our kids if we were always flying

Mom: Well, maybe you just won't have kids for a while

Hope: Sometimes, though, those kids just pop right out 

Josiah: Well, when I grow up, I want to BE the airplane!!

Hope and mom: bust out laughing. He's graduated from wanting to be a trash can when he was 3!

Interview with Hope

In my previous post, I'd interviewed Josiah. When Hope was 4, I'd asked her the same questions. Here is her interview at age 4, then at age 6.

Hope at age 4

1. What is something mom always says to you?

Don't hit your brother

2. What makes mom happy?

No hitting brother

3. What makes mom sad?

If dad dies or a friend dies or I die or if brother dies

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

Tickling me

5. What was your mom like as a child?

Like a baby

6. How old is your mom?

3 years old

7. How tall is your mom?

Taller than dad

8. What is her favorite thing to do?

Cook

9. What does your mom do when you're not around

She waits for me

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

Don't know

11. What is your mom really good at?

cookies

12. What is your mom not very good at?

Fixing the bathroom fan: making it less noisy

13. What does your mom do for her job?

Help patients become comfortable

14. What is your mom's favorite food?

Cereal (this is Hope's favorite)

15. What makes you proud of your mom?

Nothing

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

Daddy cartoon

Hope's answers at age 6 (I didn't review her 4 year old answers)

1. What is something mom always says to you?

I love you

2. What makes mom happy?

When I'm good

3. What makes mom sad?

When I hit Josiah

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

Knock Knock jokes

5. What was your mom like as a child?

like me

6. How old is your mom?

88 years old

7. How tall is your mom?

8 inches

8. What is her favorite thing to do?

Look at the computer

9. What does your mom do when you're not around

Grocery shop and run

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

making food

11. What is your mom really good at?

making food

12. What is your mom not very good at?

Making pancakes

13. What does your mom do for her job?

Nurse

14. What is your mom's favorite food?

Red Lobster

15. What makes you proud of your mom?

She makes Chinese dumpling

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

A girl cartoon

Interview with Josiah - age 4

Josiah's answers

1. What is something mom always says to you?

Wait

2. What makes mom happy?

birthday

3. What makes mom sad?

toys

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

book

5. What was your mom like as a child?

foster mom

6. How old is your mom?

3 years old

7. How tall is your mom?

6 years old

8. What is her favorite thing to do?

make food

9. What does your mom do when you're not around

gone

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

making food

11. What is your mom really good at?

eating

12. What is your mom not very good at?

not eating

13. What does your mom do for her job?

making vegetables

14. What is your mom's favorite food?

desserts

15. What makes you proud of your mom?

food

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

airplane cartoon



Another Hope Funny

Hope: Today, our Spanish teacher had a new stupid teacher helping her.
Mom: Do you mean new student teacher?
Hope: stupid? student? stupend? Well, whatever she was, she was helping out...

Being a Superior Chinese Mom

Recently, some articles about Amy Chua's book Battle Hymn of the
Tiger Mother have been popping up all over the internet. One article that Amy Chua wrote, Superior Chinese Moms, by Amy Chua reminds me (Lisa) of how I was brought up. What's the big deal?  I used to think this was "normal". Two other articles rebuke Amy Chua's book: Chinese Daughters and Amy Chua and Another Take on Amy Chua. 

I guess this got us all thinking what is really wrong with Amy Chua's idea of parenting the "Chinese way". After all, Amy Chua could have been my own mom. And how many other moms (not just Chinese) are trying to do what's right in this world and just come off a bit strong? So, there was verbal abuse, sometimes physical. But I could never say that my mom was not devoted to us kiddos.

In fact, I remember one incident where I was taking Speech class in Junior High, and I had my first tournament. I was in the prose event. Every night, I stood in front of my parents and practiced this prose piece  at least 5 times. By the time I was done, my parents had memorized my piece, and my dad would tell me that the inflection on a particular word was wrong. Or that my facial expression was not strong enough for the sentence spoken. I can estimate that my parents heard me stand in front of them and say this piece no less than 100 times.

When I came home after the tournament in the evening, both my parents were already asleep so I didn't wake them. In the morning, my mom burst into my room and demanded to see the trophy. "What trophy?" I asked, "How do you know that I even won a trophy?"  My mom's anger was palpable. "Because your dad and I heard your speech every night for the last how many nights and we all worked so hard on that speech, and it was absolutely perfect. Now, where did you hide that trophy?" 

I had to sheepishly get out of bed, open up the underwear drawer, and pull out the hidden first place trophy. I didn't get a "I'm proud of you" or "that's my girl" or any other Americanisms. Instead, my mom grabbed the trophy and said "I knew you hid this thing. You should have woken us up and thanked us for helping you so much."

I know that this is my experience, and I have many of those expectations for my kids. But I think that God has changed a lot of the "performance" model in my life. If I just had Hope, I think that we would have done what Amy Chua did. Hope is probably capable of playing piano at Carnegie Hall. Will it make her happy? Probably not, but that happiness factor is VERY American.

But I look at Josiah, and I know that he couldn't play at Carnegie Hall, even if we practiced 12 hours a day. He's where he is at because he was made a little slower, a little different, but extremely happy. So will he be happy making widgets all his life? Yes. Is that where we will put him - just because that makes him happy? No. I think we are still modifying our expectations of him everyday. If he can make it through this day without hurting himself, then that's a good day. What about: if he can make it this day by writing his name with clarity, then that's a good day. Is that wrong to have expectations that don't make him happy?

So, I'm glad that Amy Chua wrote what she wrote. She is NOT alone in demanding the very best of her kids, even if they aren't happy. But it's clear that she loves them. My mom loved us kids. I love my kids. Happiness is wayyyy overstated.

Even so, we are a work in progress, ever keeping our eyes on the eternal things. If my child can stand before kings and leaders of the world yet forget the king of kings, then I did not point them in the right direction. My hope is to bring my kids nearer to the throne of Heaven. They can still stand before kings, though.

A Josiah Funny

Josiah was trying to get his buttoned-down sweater on by himself. He often finds it very hard to get the last sleeve on and ends up in a pile of tears.  

This afternoon, he put his arm in the first sleeve,then kept running around in circles chasing that last sleeve, shouting: "Where are you, sleeve? Where are you, sleeve?"